Garden Burger – Porcupine

Well! It has been a boomer year for Really Real Review (RRR). Now I am a rich and famous New Zealand music critic and I can afford all the Lonely Hearts bralets I could ever want and all the perfumes from WORLD beauty I can spray on my stinking body. Any normal critic would write a best of at this point but I’m an idiot who can’t be bothered remembering what they last listened to because I’d rather play Mariah Carey’s Christmas album over and over and watch Glitter! or whatever the movie she made was called and maybe watch and E! true hollywood stories over and over and eat hummus on toast.

Anyway ‘Garden Burger’ is a really fucking weird sounding band. The singer sounds like Joy Division if Joy Divison had a piece of fried chicken in their collective mouths. It’s oddly compelling — you want to lean in and listen to more. It’s like an old man on the bus talking into your ear, except he’s trying to talk to his dead wife. Sonically the band sounds vaguely Yo La Tengoesque when Yo La Tengo is at their most relaxed. It’s a little too sterile — instruments are too clear and mixing is kept at a minimum giving the impression all musicians are standing in a line. I mean, they might be standing in a line. Who knows? It might be argued – SOME MIGHT SAY – that recording analog would solve this but there’s plenty of good digital albums, too. Lady Gaga’s ‘Joanne’ sounds like it was recorded in a closet under a blanket fort but it’s warm and compelling. It’s all about being compelling, isn’t it? Inland Empire is a great film with all these digital artefacts — when you watch it it’s not like ‘oh, this was recorded on one of those fancy RED cameras’. It’s – ‘oh, this was recorded on some digital thing and the image is flat yet compelling’. Do you know what I mean?

I mean, I don’t know what I mean, half the time.

Anyway — the deep vocals, almost lounge-singer-esque, are oddly compelling and that’s why I like this track. It’s too long though. A solid B-.